I wanted to share these photos with you - these are in Redmond at a park. They are knit with velcro holding them together. They are so happy! Little tree condoms.....:P
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Synthesis .... or just ramblings
As
I began my BSN educational journey, I wasn't really sure what to
expect. I had heard it was “writing papers ad nauseam”. I
wasn't looking forward to it at all! I was at a place in my career
that in order to move ahead, I really needed further education. I
was at a point in my life where I really needed to move ahead. My
children are almost grown – one in college, one in high school. I
was feeling somewhat empty inside. Pursuing my BSN seemed the
perfect solution.
Fast-forward
to third quarter, spring quarter. Yes, there was a lot of writing
papers this year. Most of them structured with bibliographies and
citations. I truly don't mind writing these kinds of papers – cut
and dried, no personal reflection necessary, the more important
sounding the words the better. Then this class of reflective
writing, reflective practice. What a shock to be asked to write from
the heart, to look inside and write me. Some reflective practice
writing within a structure to help piece apart my feelings and
actions and help define the situation. Without experiencing
difficult situations over and over, how can we learn by them? The
usual mode of operation, for me, is to try to forget unpleasant
things, to tuck them away. Using reflective practice writing forces
me to examine my actions, my thoughts, to really feel the
emotion attached to the unpleasant incident.
My
goals, along with mastering reflective writing, were to work on
finding and living by my core values. Here they are again:
- Respect - for others, for myself, demand respect from others for myself, boundaries
- Meaningful work - putting my heart and soul into my profession
- Relationships - family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances
- Fun - creativity, humor, child-like
- Growth - physically and personally including education, spiritual and reflective
As
with any new project, the beginning is a fury of activity – “I'm
going to do this and that and this” to attain my goals. Well this
was no different. I used my goals as a mantra when trying to relax.
I reviewed them before most encounters and situations. I worked
diligently on showing and demanding respect, worked on setting and
maintaining my boundaries. This is the most difficult for me, the
boundary part. My upbringing with a severely depressed mother and an
absent father shaped my lack of boundaries. I've worked on painting,
having fun with friends, meeting up with long-lost friends.
I
appreciate the working on inside-me this class has “forced” me to
do. Previously, I was addicted to working out, going to the gym. I
pumped iron, ran, stepped, zumba-d, practiced yoga for hours and
hours. I was going to perfect the outside. Then came shoulder
surgery and depression. My addiction couldn't be fulfilled. I had
plenty of time, though, to think about where I am in my life, plenty
of time to reflect on me. I came to the realization that what I was
doing for myself wasn't working. I wasn't really happy. I needed to
change my focus from the outside to within. Working out didn't
fulfill me anymore, hadn't really ever fulfilled me. When the option
for a Reflective Practice class came up, a VLPA class, one I really
needed, I signed up, not having a clue what to expect.
It
all comes full circle. I put out an intention – change my focus to
within – and the universe conspired to help me attain my goals. I
am a work in progress, but at least I am a work. I realize that I am
not diligent in reviewing my core values as much, I am going into
encounters, situations blindly. Maybe I don't need to review them so
much anymore. Maybe practice does make perfect....or almost perfect!
Oh spring!!!! Birds tweeting, the smell of freshly mown grass, my hands in the dirt, gas powered leaf blowers and generator powered power washers. When did a spring afternoon become the perfect time to pollute the neighborhood with noise? I cringe whenever I see someone using a leaf blower. How hard is it to pick up a rake?
After viewing one of the youtube video assignments, I thought about finding a quiet place to think - to intellectulize (I think that's how he spelled it?). My couch looked like the perfect spot...I"ll just place a pillow here with a light blanket...perfect. Then came the noise! I was immediately angered! My heart sped up, thoughts swirling in my brain...How dare they! Interrupt my thinking time!
When the new tower was built for our hospital, our nursing manager (the top one) fought for each unit to have a "Zen Den" - a place to sit and think. This was such a thoughtful gift to the floor staff. The rooms are on either side of the tower, one with a beautiful Mt Baker view, the other viewing Mt Rainier. The rooms are meant to be stark - two chairs, a floor lamp, a simple painting on the wall. Phones, work, conversation is to be left at the door. Beautiful.
After being open for one year, the Zen Dens are now places where you can pick up paper supplies, the census for the day, you can find a stapler in there. Any information posters, fall stats - yep - posted in the Zen Den.
I have talked with the manager about the state of the Den's and she has agreed with me - this was not the intent - but so far no changes. I am going to continue working on getting these back. Now I have some new ammo - we need a thinking space free of clutter. Not only will this help the individual nurse, but further our practice, the art of nursing.
Back to the power washer.....two and one half hours of noise! If I had my fierce conversation skills down I would have walked across the street, pulled out the power cord and conversed. Instead I just steamed and stewed! I can't change the world.....
After viewing one of the youtube video assignments, I thought about finding a quiet place to think - to intellectulize (I think that's how he spelled it?). My couch looked like the perfect spot...I"ll just place a pillow here with a light blanket...perfect. Then came the noise! I was immediately angered! My heart sped up, thoughts swirling in my brain...How dare they! Interrupt my thinking time!
When the new tower was built for our hospital, our nursing manager (the top one) fought for each unit to have a "Zen Den" - a place to sit and think. This was such a thoughtful gift to the floor staff. The rooms are on either side of the tower, one with a beautiful Mt Baker view, the other viewing Mt Rainier. The rooms are meant to be stark - two chairs, a floor lamp, a simple painting on the wall. Phones, work, conversation is to be left at the door. Beautiful.
After being open for one year, the Zen Dens are now places where you can pick up paper supplies, the census for the day, you can find a stapler in there. Any information posters, fall stats - yep - posted in the Zen Den.
I have talked with the manager about the state of the Den's and she has agreed with me - this was not the intent - but so far no changes. I am going to continue working on getting these back. Now I have some new ammo - we need a thinking space free of clutter. Not only will this help the individual nurse, but further our practice, the art of nursing.
Back to the power washer.....two and one half hours of noise! If I had my fierce conversation skills down I would have walked across the street, pulled out the power cord and conversed. Instead I just steamed and stewed! I can't change the world.....
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Care taking....or taking care
I have been feeling on the verge of depression for the past few days. My van broke down and is stuck in Wenatchee, my little convertible needed the top fixed $$$$$, I got a ticket for no license plate on the truck I was borrowing. One thing after another.
When I was a teenage,r I went to Apple Blossom in Chelan and got busted for under age drinking (imagine - at Apple Blossom - drinking!) and was sentenced to some anti-under-age-drinking classes. The one thing that stuck with me was when the instructor said that total body movement, as in exercise, was a great alternative to drinking. Released endorphins.
During my verge of depression this past week, all I could think of was a bottle of white wine. I seriously thought, though, that I should experience these uncomfortable feelings, reflect on them, work through them. It was very uncomfortable!
I went to Zumba all grumpy on Monday night.... but after a few songs, a lot of sweat :) and the music! I cheered right up. It's amazing how movement and music turn on the endorphins in me! Dancing is my passion - I have been involved in some sort of dance since I was 12 yrs old - ballet, jazzercise (taught for 18 years - yes 18!!), zumba. And of course the dancing in this class!
Friday was my5 month follow-up appointment with my orthopedic after rotator cuff (plus three additional procedures on my poor shoulder ) - he acknowledged my frustration with my progress and emphasized the need to take "me" time. Just like Karen :) did - it''s so important but so difficult to do. I think as nurses, we are so programed to take care of others that we leave little time for ourselves.
I thought about the term "caretaker" the other day, broke it up into "care" and "take" - I "take care" of you, and you "take" my "care". What does that leave me with?
My older brother is helping me with my broken down van in Wenatchee - he is taking care of me and it feels very different........but nice!
Take care of yourself......
Friday, May 11, 2012
reflection using the Model of Structured Reflection
The
poster project incident is still really bothering me. Especially
since I tied in the Quality category – with the CNS! She “threw
something together “ (her words) at the last minute on the same
subject I had been working on for weeks. Since the two posters were
on the same subject, they were grouped together and the prize was
shared. I am going to reflect on this incident using the Model of
Structured Reflection: Tenth Version.....with artistic design borrowed with permission from Geni :)
| Aesthetics: | |
| What am I trying to achieve? Why did I respond as I did? What were the consequences of my response for others, myself? How were these people feeling? How did I know this? |
Honestly – I am
trying to get personal recognition. I have never given of my time
or energy to advance my profession and I thought this would
enhance my status as an RN at Prov and give me a sense of
professionalism.
When the CNS
expressed her desire to join in on my project, I felt threatened
and insulted. How dare she try to get her name on my project
after I had done all the work. Maybe feeling a little selfish
too.
I have not talked
to the CNS since our phone conversation (that ended poorly). I
have avoided her and have not reached out as planned.
The CNS was
astounded that I didn't include her, after all, delirium was her
latest pet project. She was feeling anger towards me.
I knew this because
she is a very vocal person! I could tell by her words and tone of
voice that she was angry with me for not including her. Maybe she
back lashed towards me by “throwing something together” on the
same subject – knowing she had many more resources at hand than
I had.
|
| Personal knowing: | |
| How did I feel in
this situation? What internal factors were influencing me? . |
Some of my
feelings: anger, threatened, violated, disrespected, not
validated, used.
My whole life has
been based on the need for approval of others, for validation from
others for me, for pleasing others. This incident can be looked
at as a microcosm of my life. Avoiding conflict in the hopes of
the gaining approval of others.
|
| Ethics: | |
| How did my actions
match my beliefs? What internal factors made me act in incongruent ways? |
My belief that my
worth is dictated by the approval and validation of others, and
that by avoiding conflict, I can maintain my worth in others eyes.
My actions –
avoiding any conflict – were based on my life-long behaviors for
(supposedly) maintaining peace.
|
| Empirics: | |
| What knowledge did or should have informed me? | My knowledge of myself and my fears and doubts. I am working on this outside of practice and school, I should have acted and not reacted. |
| Reflexivity: | |
How does this connect with previous experiences? Could I handle this better in similar situations? What would be the consequences of alternative actions for: Others? The CNS.. Myself? How do I now feel about this experience? Has this changed my way of knowing? |
This experience
connects with every other conflict in my life. This is my modus
operandi – how I function and survive. This incident happened
at a time when I am exploring my life and trying to change
patterns of behavior that are destructive to my growth.
I am working on
changing my reactions – I need to act, not re-act.
The alternative
action would have been immediately saying “no, I don't want you
to be involved in this project. I have been working on this for a
while, it is almost complete. You have a different perspective as
a CNS on this than I as an RN do. I want this project to reflect
the RN's perspective.” My behavior could have been firm but
mature.
I still feel anger
about this experience.
After reflecting
on my feelings concerning my actions, I now realize that the depth
and overreaction during this experience is related to my
reflection on my past.
Baby
steps.....awareness is the first step.
|
Saturday, May 5, 2012
and on and on and on....
I am seeing a counselor to help me work through my "mid-life crisis" :) and I am discovering so much about myself! I wish I had done this earlier in my growth process, but there is a time and place for everything - now is my time.
Some things I have discovered about myself - I have always been the caretaker for my family, especially for my mom. I dissected the word caretaker - care take - I take care of you and you take my care. This both benefits and harms us - it exhausts me to constantly take care of you, but that is my role and I feel comfort here. By taking care of you, I deny you the growth of caring for yourself, although it is much easier for you to have me handle everything. Changing our accepted roles, especially in our family of origin, after all this time is difficult. A situation came up two weeks ago involving my mother and me, I basically said I wasn't going to take care of her. Please don't get me wrong - I love her and she is perfectly capable of taking care of herself. It is very difficult to hold true to my value of respect in this situation. I am feeling anxiety, guilt but also a feeling of relief. In an earlier blog, I listed my core values. I can't express how important just having the words at hand is to me. I can justify my actions because they align with my core values and make me a stronger, happier, more whole person.
I was toiling in the soil the other day and found this under a tree. I have lived in this house for almost 16 years - where did it come from? I love happy discoveries like this!!
Some things I have discovered about myself - I have always been the caretaker for my family, especially for my mom. I dissected the word caretaker - care take - I take care of you and you take my care. This both benefits and harms us - it exhausts me to constantly take care of you, but that is my role and I feel comfort here. By taking care of you, I deny you the growth of caring for yourself, although it is much easier for you to have me handle everything. Changing our accepted roles, especially in our family of origin, after all this time is difficult. A situation came up two weeks ago involving my mother and me, I basically said I wasn't going to take care of her. Please don't get me wrong - I love her and she is perfectly capable of taking care of herself. It is very difficult to hold true to my value of respect in this situation. I am feeling anxiety, guilt but also a feeling of relief. In an earlier blog, I listed my core values. I can't express how important just having the words at hand is to me. I can justify my actions because they align with my core values and make me a stronger, happier, more whole person.
I was toiling in the soil the other day and found this under a tree. I have lived in this house for almost 16 years - where did it come from? I love happy discoveries like this!!
Sunday, April 29, 2012
goal update
Goal update :)
Respect - for others, for myself, demand respect from others for myself, boundaries
- I have always demanded respect for myself. My difficulty is communicating this to others without emotion or just avoiding all together. As you can see in my earlier post, I am still working on this.
Meaningful work - putting my heart and soul into my profession
- I am so excited! I stepped up and volunteered to create the poster for our Nurses Day Celebration! I'll post a pic as soon as it is complete.
Relationships - family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances
- Meeting up with friends or family once a week. I have been so neglectful of my friends, especially during this past year with school and surgery. Had lunch with a high school friend last week, painting with an old friend the week before (you've seen my koi!), another lunch date this week. I really missed my time with friends and really appreciate their friendship.
Fun - creativity, humor, child-like
- Have you ever been to Teatro Zinzanni?? Fun and child-like!!!with feathers in our hair! This is my friend for 28 years - love her!
Growth - physically and personally including education, spiritual and reflective
- Let me see.....oh, ya - BSN program at UWB!!! I love school! I plan to take the Spanish for Health Care Workers during winter quarter at EvCC. Spiritual - meditating (or trying to..) by doing the 20-breath countdown. Reflective.....this one is a process!
Friday, April 27, 2012
Update on the Koi.......they still don't look like fish!!! I found myself becoming so frustrated with my lack of ability to paint the darn tails!!!! I think I'll switch to painting flowers. I set my expectations way too high. but it's OK - I can just move on :)
This is my first attempt! koi on crack.....
the tail is looking better....
fat fish - bad tail!
double koi
not quite done but I am frustrated in the tails so I"m going back to flowers
So I've learned that being creative can also be frustrating. I have a habit of setting high expectations for myself - this might be a nurse thing, we are all high achievers - but am learning to laugh it off. Just look at those tails! funny!
This is my first attempt! koi on crack.....
the tail is looking better....
fat fish - bad tail!
double koi
not quite done but I am frustrated in the tails so I"m going back to flowers
So I've learned that being creative can also be frustrating. I have a habit of setting high expectations for myself - this might be a nurse thing, we are all high achievers - but am learning to laugh it off. Just look at those tails! funny!
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
more reflection...
so I thought I had it down....fierce conversation and such. you do know that I would rather cut my arm off than confront anyone. I rationalize that it is OK to lose a friendship rather than confront. I have always been the peacekeeper - we don't do that....that confronting thing. It's much better to stuff your anger and let it eat away at you.
Here's what happened....
I have been working on a poster project for work, based on an EBP in nursing. I chose the CAM tool for delirium. Now I have been printing journal articles, reading them, highlighting the stuff I want to present, spending a lot of my spare time on this project. I had the poster pretty much completed when I asked our CNS in psych if she had any graphics I could add. Well - she got really excited about my poster (that I had been working on for ~6 weeks) and said things like "I want to add....", and "we should put in....". I was stunned! but rather than using my fierce conversation skills, I meekly (I know, me meek!!) said I'd "see if it would fit on the poster" and I would "look into it". Inside I was feeling threatened - I wanted to just give up on the project.
I submitted the poster this morning. She called me in the afternoon asking how "our" project was coming along. We had a conversation.
Here's what happened....
I went to the CNS asking for help. She was excited that a nurse was presenting psych stuff and was eager to help. She offered suggestions she thought would really help my project. I didn't object so she thought we were a team. When she found out I had submitted the poster without sharing with her, she was hurt. We had a conversation.
So....here I've been thinking about how to make this right. You do know that we have "do-overs" in life? You just say - "remember when ________? Well, I want a do-over". and you make it right. I will make it right. I really value our friendship.
on a side note....for my creative goal I am painting a Koi a day for seven days.
they don't look quite like fish yet.....
Here's what happened....
I have been working on a poster project for work, based on an EBP in nursing. I chose the CAM tool for delirium. Now I have been printing journal articles, reading them, highlighting the stuff I want to present, spending a lot of my spare time on this project. I had the poster pretty much completed when I asked our CNS in psych if she had any graphics I could add. Well - she got really excited about my poster (that I had been working on for ~6 weeks) and said things like "I want to add....", and "we should put in....". I was stunned! but rather than using my fierce conversation skills, I meekly (I know, me meek!!) said I'd "see if it would fit on the poster" and I would "look into it". Inside I was feeling threatened - I wanted to just give up on the project.
I submitted the poster this morning. She called me in the afternoon asking how "our" project was coming along. We had a conversation.
Here's what happened....
I went to the CNS asking for help. She was excited that a nurse was presenting psych stuff and was eager to help. She offered suggestions she thought would really help my project. I didn't object so she thought we were a team. When she found out I had submitted the poster without sharing with her, she was hurt. We had a conversation.
So....here I've been thinking about how to make this right. You do know that we have "do-overs" in life? You just say - "remember when ________? Well, I want a do-over". and you make it right. I will make it right. I really value our friendship.
on a side note....for my creative goal I am painting a Koi a day for seven days.
they don't look quite like fish yet.....
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Reflecting using Gibbs....
I think I'm a good nurse. I have clinical experience, new nurses come to me for advise. I think I learn from my mistakes. I think I am forever learning. Let's see....
A couple years ago I had had a patient named "Glen" who was developmentally disabled. Glen was in his mid-40's and was admitted for CAP - community acquired pneumonia. Glen arrived on our floor mid-morning, O2 via NC at 2L, able to communicate and make his needs known. Glen had a foley catheter in place and was complaining that it hurt “real bad”. I got an order for topical lidocain, hoping for some relief. Nothing helped. Glen kept complaining, louder and louder. I called the wound care nurse for a bedside consult to see if there was anything else we could do. She noticed that Glen wasn't circumcised and his foreskin had not been pulled back into place. She tried to put it back, the charge nurse tried, I tried. Nothing. I investigated and found that the ER nurses had tried unsuccessfully many times to place the foley and ended up calling in a urologist to place the catheter. He hadn't replaced the foreskin. I made a phone call to him, furious, and explained the situation. He seemed uninterested. I left work that day feeling like a failure. My patient had spent the day in miserable pain, ending with an emergency circumcision.
A year later, it happened again. I had a patient, “Joe”, admitted for a somewhat emergent fem-fem bypass. Joe was an alcoholic on the withdrawal protocol with Ativan on board. The NOC RN, a male, had placed the catheter the prior evening. When I came on shift in the morning, Joe was complaining that his catheter hurt 'real bad'. Flashbacks of my experience with Glen raced through my mind as I, somewhat angrily asked the male RN if the patient was circumcised or not. He said he “didn't remember”. Really? I thought – how can you not remember that? Especially coming from a male nurse. I was furious – again.
So here I am, dealing with a repeat situation – I should have learned from the first. Had I doubted the patient because he was dev delayed? I should have been able to recognize the fact that the patient wasn't circumcised but it really is had to tell. I should have questioned the need for the foley in Glen's case – for pneumonia??? In the second situation, I was furious! How could a male nurse not put the foreskin back in place after placing the catheter!!!!! And then tell me he didn't know? I should have learned from the first situation. I should have learned.
Advocate for the patient, believe the patient. Don't let my emotions dictate my actions. Act, don't re-act.
My anger and frustration came out so strongly with my interactions with the urologist and male nurse, no wonder they were immediately on the defensive. If I could do it over again, I would approach them possibly in the SBAR format – situation, background, assessment, recommendation. The outcome of the first incidence really influenced my behavior in the second.
What happened – lack of communication led to a man being unnecessarily circumcised. Lack of communication led to unnecessary pain and suffering for a patient already in pain, scared, facing surgery. Lack of a communication resulted in anger, resentment and disrespect between two colleagues that lasted several years.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
goal #1
One of my goals is to discover, understand and live by my core values. I have a work sheet that lists about 100 core values. I circled the ones that I thought reflected my values and what I hold true, group values with similar meanings together into five groups and label each group with a value that encompasses the group. This was really eye-opening! Most of what I value has to do with meaningful work - maybe that's why I quit working at Boeing (making silly airplanes!) and went into nursing. My next heavily represented category encompassed the values of loyalty, open and honesty, truth. Pretty good - yes? The remaining three categories are equally filled with relationship, creativity/fun and personal development - my other goals for this quarter. I can now say I have my core values - and it's not that I didn't have them before, I just didn't have them in a structured way that I can define my actions by. It's like having many pairs of black shoes in a big box and feeling disorganized and lost when you try to find a pair. You know you have them but it's difficult to grab without sorting through the others. Now I will tell you what my core values are....:) not in any particular order.....
Respect - for others, for myself, demand respect from others for myself, boundaries
Meaningful work - putting my heart and soul into my profession
Relationships - family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances
Fun - creativity, humor, child-like
Growth - physically and personally including education, spiritual and reflective
OK - a bit of honesty here....I am starting to cry just looking at this list. I feel like a huge weight has just been lifted off of me. I have felt so much like a whirlwind in my mind, heart and life and I finally feel like I am finding my core and truth.
I think I'll go meditate for awhile!
Respect - for others, for myself, demand respect from others for myself, boundaries
Meaningful work - putting my heart and soul into my profession
Relationships - family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances
Fun - creativity, humor, child-like
Growth - physically and personally including education, spiritual and reflective
OK - a bit of honesty here....I am starting to cry just looking at this list. I feel like a huge weight has just been lifted off of me. I have felt so much like a whirlwind in my mind, heart and life and I finally feel like I am finding my core and truth.
I think I'll go meditate for awhile!
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Why is this so hard? To bare my soul, to express my deep feelings, hopes, goals with a few people I trust? I have thought and though about what to write here - not wanting to bore you, not wanting to reveal too much. It's hard to focus on a goal when I am just treading water, trying to learn, work, raise children, keep my house in order, recovering from surgery. But what an important assignment to undertake.
So....here they are, my goals:
Explore what my core values really are and, once revealed, live by them.
Live my true self, not dependent on the approval of others.
This will take a lot of self-reflection, self-discovery, letting go of old habits, learning new. This will take distancing myself from unhealthy relationships and nurturing new relationships.
Undertaking a new journey that will influence the rest of my life is both scarey and exhilarating. Will you join me?
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
I have been pondering what to write here - what are my goals? what are my expectations?
Last spring, the hospital I work at was offering a scholarship to complete the BSN program to selected employees. One of the requirements was to write an essay stating my goals, aspirations and why I would be a good candidate for the scholarship. I spent weeks writing and revising my essay - it was a work of art!!! - at the last moment, Providence cancelled the scholarship due to budget cuts.
I want to post this essay here as it really encompasses my reasons for becoming a nurse, some of the setbacks in my recent life, some of my accomplishments.
Last spring, the hospital I work at was offering a scholarship to complete the BSN program to selected employees. One of the requirements was to write an essay stating my goals, aspirations and why I would be a good candidate for the scholarship. I spent weeks writing and revising my essay - it was a work of art!!! - at the last moment, Providence cancelled the scholarship due to budget cuts.
I want to post this essay here as it really encompasses my reasons for becoming a nurse, some of the setbacks in my recent life, some of my accomplishments.
May
10, 2011
Human
Resources
Back
to School Tuition Scholarship Program
Dear
Back to School Selection Committee,
Let
me introduce myself – my name is Lori Young, I have been employed
at PRMCE since August 2005. I spent my first 3 years working on the
on the 4th floor Medical Telemetry/Neuro/Vascular Unit
under the direction of Heather Coleman. Working on the 4th
floor really demonstrated the importance and cohesiveness of teamwork
along with teaching me a variety of clinical skills. Feeling a need
to expand my practice, I accepted a position in the Float Resource
Team under the direction of Martha Wick. In this capacity, I have
been exposed to all types of acute care patients and their needs
along with the specific and established protocols. I have developed
many different clinical and interpersonal skills and am capable of
taking on most RN roles, from the orthopedic protocols on the 8th
floor to Hospice on 2N. I have improved my critical thinking and
analytical skills. As a float RN, I make it a point to bring
improvements from one floor to the next. I have introduced the
Charge RN report folder to many floors and shared helpful and
positive information gained during the huddles. At this point in my
nursing career, I have come to realize that my clinical skills are
just one aspect of my profession and I need to further my practice
with additional education.
Working
as an RN at Providence has been a life long dream for me. Growing up,
I always wanted to be involved in health care, nursing in particular.
I wasn’t encouraged by my parents or the counselors at school to
pursue this profession, so I followed the career path of most people
in this area – I went to work for Boeing! I got married, had two
(wonderful) boys, and continued to work full time along with
operating my fitness franchise on a part-time basis. In 1996, during
my pregnancy with my second son I started having unusual symptoms –
sudden unexplained tachycardia, drenching sweats and spiking blood
pressures. These were all explained away as ‘part of being
pregnant’ but, knowing my body as I did, I knew something was
wrong. Two months after giving birth, I was diagnosed with a
Pheochromocytoma along with cholecystitis. I had life saving surgery
on January 3, 1997. During my recovery (at Providence on the 6th
floor), I witnessed the excellent, professional care demonstrated by
the nurses. A vivid memory of mine is doing laps around the nurse’s
station, gripping my IV pole with the nurses cheering me on. I knew I
had to become a nurse and work at Providence.
Life
progressed: 9/11/2001 affected the whole world including mine. I was
laid off from Boeing in early 2002 and my husband left me and my two
boys. My first thought was, “How am I going to support my family?”
I went straight to EvCC and, with a lot of help from the staff,
managed to enroll in my first quarter of pre-requisites for the
nursing program. Imagine taking Chemistry, along with two other
classes after being out of school for over 20 years! I worked hard
and diligently and earned a perfect 4.0 GPA. The certificate still
hangs on my refrigerator! It seems I spent those three years either
at school or studying in my den. I received my ADN in 2005,
graduating with honors, along with raising my boys to be good
scholars, honest citizens and happy young men. It was a wonderful
achievement for me. I feel I set a great example for my children –
have a goal, work hard, set your priorities and that goal is
obtainable. Now my goal is to further my education by obtaining my
BSN.
I
am so proud to work for and be a member of the Providence family! I
respect and abide by the Providence core values and strive to uphold
them daily. I am now able to extend my gratitude for what I have been
given (blessed with) by volunteering. I completed my PRIDE Level 1
this year and had the opportunity to volunteer both at an ECEAP
preschool clean-up project and at a Teen health and fitness
exposition. By exploring my individual mission within the Providence
mission, I feel I grew not only educationally but spiritually. I
am currently involved with the stroke prevention and education drive
led by the stroke team from the 4th floor. I have advanced
my practice by earning my Medical Surgical certification, attending
additional educational offerings provided by Providence and keeping
up with the latest evidence based practices and clinical standard
improvements through
my association memberships. I am active in the Toast
Masters club to improve my communication skills. Giving back to my
community is both satisfying and rewarding. It brings me inner peace.
Without
compassion, nursing is an empty profession. I demonstrate
compassion in my work every time I interact with my patients by
considering their circumstances and focusing on their immediate
needs, keeping our agreed upon outcome as a main goal. Educating my
patients empowers them to make informed decisions, not only for their
immediate care, but also for their future health and well-being.
Simple “words of wisdom’ from a professional can make an
important impact on a patient. Showing compassion, even with a simple
touch, is something I strive to demonstrate, not only in my nursing,
but also in everyday life.
Thou
shalt not harden thine heart, nor shut thine hand from thy poor
brother. (Deut. 15:7)
Justice,
in my nursing practice, encompasses the integrity, honesty and pride
shown to my co-workers, patients and their families. Treating each
other as equals, with respect and dignity, demonstrates the
Providence core value, but also is a core belief I have.
Do
not pervert justice; do not show partiality to the poor or favoritism
to the great, but judge your neighbor fairly. (Leviticus 19:14-16)
Respect,
is demonstrated with a simple knock on the door prior to entering a
patient’s room, with a grateful “thank you” to a co-worker or
volunteer. Respect encompasses allowing patients to be involved in
the decisions impacting their healthcare, and respecting those
decisions.
Honour
the face of the old man. (Lev. 19:32)
Excellence
in my practice is providing outstanding care to each and every one of
my patients by treating them with equality, justice and respect. By
continually advancing my clinical knowledge through educational
classes, medical journals and learning from each and every patient, I
continue to demonstrate excellence in my practice.
The
excellency of dignity. (Gen. 49:3)
Stewardship
is defined by the World Health Organization as “the careful and
responsible management of the well-being of the population”.
Stewardship is demonstrated by the proper utilization of resources
including material and environmental resources, promoting people and
intelligence. I demonstrate good stewardship by respecting and
conserving the materials provided to me, the patients entrusted in my
care and the environment given to us.
My
financial situation leaves me without the extra funds needed to
manage school expenses along with living expenses. I am a single mom
raising two teenage boys; my oldest son will start his second year at
Edmonds Community College next fall. Expenses for both of us in
college are not feasible. By investing in me through my continued
education, Providence will be making a sound investment both in its
future growth and in its leadership in the Health Care community.
I
have been accepted into the University of Washington BSN program for
fall quarter. I completed my foreign language classes at EvCC fall
2010 and winter 2011 quarters and am enrolled in the Statistics class
at UWB for the summer quarter, completing the pre-requisites
necessary for the BSN program. I have excellent time management
skills and have no doubt I will be successful in this program. I
love learning.
Nursing
is not a stagnant profession; performing the basic and advanced
skills is just one aspect of our profession. We have a unique skill
set that is underdeveloped in many aspects and, although we as a
profession have many clinical skills and a great body of knowledge,
we can be advanced to a more spectacular, greater recognized and more
appreciated professional entity. I want to be a part of the movement
towards magnet status and feel that by obtaining my BSN, along with
my practical experience, I will be empowered with the knowledge to
assist my profession and PRMCE through management opportunities or
educator roles. With more focus on preventative medicine, nurses
will have a greater role in health care. I want to become even more
involved in this movement through research, teaching and leadership.
Thank
you for considering my request for funding. I appreciate this
opportunity to be considered a candidate for the Back to School
Scholarship.
Sincerely,
Lori
Young RN, CMSRN
Saturday, March 31, 2012
This is my first blogging ever! about time....I am excited about this class as I am contemplating the second half of my life - empty nesting right around the corner, set in my profession and wondering the next steps, big house too much work for just me, always wanted to live in sunshine - should I move?, education - am I too old to consider continuing (cost vs benefit), I am confident in myself and really don't care what others think (to a certain extent, that is:) but there are always that nagging history that still affects my actions and thoughts, the conscious can't change what it doesn't know (unconscious), set firm boundaries - don't set them after they are crossed......musings or rambling??? later.....
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